ROUGH DAY!!!!!!

Today I have been very "WHEEPY". I have been working in Josy's closet and I looked at the little clothes that I had hung in there for Melee. She only has a few things. Things that Mamaw Sherrie and Jen have bought for her. Darrell requested that we get an update on her from our agency. They said probably next week we should get something. When we started this I was OK if it happened and OK if it didn't. Well somewhere along the way my heart has decided that I WILL NOT BE OK if this DOES NOT happen. This little girl is my daughter. She is my Melee Faith. I want to hold her. I do not want her to turn one without me. We ask if we could send her a care package for her birthday and they said that it was possible. BUT....we would have to say on our adoption forms that we had not had contact with the orphanage. SO that meant we would have to lie. I cried and cried. I knew in my heart that it would not be right to do this. So we decided that we would just wait and trust that her "HEAVENLY Daddy" will hold her tight and take care of her. After all He has taken care of her so far and we can trust HIM. Afterall, HE is the one that is making us a family.